The Killer Instinct
I assigned my 13 year old son the task of reading “Bambi” to our 2 year daughter this morning. Initially, Teresa’s reaction when John asked if he could read to her was, “No, John, you don’t do it right”. Being within earshot of this, I felt a need to correct her, since John was simultaneously arguing with her that this inaccurate idea was something 5 year old sister, Gianna, made up. Pretty soon, I figured out exactly what they meant!
“….So, Bambi’s mom took him to meet all the animals of the forest, and when they were done with that, they went to run around in the field…”
“Ok, but a little brief,” I complained, “wasn’t it?”
“Well, that’s because the other version just takes too long!” John replied.
“Ok,” I thought to myself, “he’s such a sweet kid to want to read to his little sister that I’ll just let it go at that.”
Moments later they resume reading. Teresa is innocently and trustingly looking around the room when I hear more of the story….with bits and pieces thrown in that I’ve never heard before!
“Bambi’s girlfriend, Faline, slipped on the ice and landed beneath a tree that a beaver carved up in such a way that it fell on both Bambi and Faline and chopped off their heads. Of course, there was a tactical nuclear warhead inside Bambi’s head, so that was the end of them both”.
This version was not created by Disney. Not even close.
At that point, boy was I glad I recently read Sally Thomas’ article entitled, “Killer Instinct” in the January 2010 edition of First Things magazine. In it, Ms. Thomas asserts,
boys like the actions that weapons enable. They like shooting and slashing and stabbing at things, and if they don’t have anything to shoot, slash, or stab with, punching is good, too. Hand a girl a rock, and she will make a pet out of it. Hand a boy a baby doll, and—if no adult is looking—he will point its head at somebody and say, “Pow.”
Many parents, alarmed by such behavior start thinking about whether or not they should be concerned about ‘junior’ acting out his “aggressive impulses” . Should they call the child psychologist? Many do. Moms (and school teachers, too) cannot help themselves but to try to remedy this “killer instinct” with soothing cajoling to the likes of, “Now, now, don’t do that; that’s not kind.”
As Ms. Thomas points out, you might as well tell the boy to stop being who he is.
When I overheard the storyline changing in John’s version of the Bambi story, I had one overriding thought before I, too, burst into laughter (my son was already laughing): “This situation is too tempting for him to actually expect that he would pull it off seriously without throwing a little aggression excitement into the mix.”
Remember, that for a boy, a desire to commit violence is not the same thing as a desire to commit evil (Ms. Thomas’ words). The true task of the parent is to appeal to the boy’s sense of chivalry; to protect another with his strength. This might be the root of where this desire comes from in the first place.
The article makes several more good points. It is well worth a read.
