Heaven Help Me!

And the dark figure is…

the elliptical!

I should REALLY get on my elliptical and use it, instead of just wanting to use it. I bet it would do me some good. I have just 8-10 weeks left to go. I am getting close.

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There is a dark, hulking figure in the living room. Every time I go in there, I see it, and I am reminded of how weak I am. It must weigh well over 200 pounds. When I am awake, it stands there. When I am asleep, it stands there. It sees me *sigh* and a bellowing laugh follows. I can barely breathe these days. I am carrying a heavy load. It is dark gray and black in color with mammoth proportions. It’s ironic that I picked it out. When I did that, things were different.

What might it be?

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As I stuck my head in the dryer this morning to investigate the source of the strange noise it has been making lately, I was reminded of an article I read in the October 10, 2009 edition of the New York Times. It was the first time I read about the “clothesline debate”. Apparently, some argue hanging laundry outside to dry is an “eyesore” to the neighborhood which lowers property value. Proponents of hanging laundry outside know that it is a much “greener” option by saving on energy bills and acting in an environmentally friendly way. As the article explains , the greenies are being curbed by those who want restrictions on “wind energy drying devices” (i.e. clotheslines). These people want to look outside their windows with unobstructed views to the birds and sky. I never thought twice about seeing my neighbors’ boxers blowing in the wind. Nor have I ever felt annoyed to think hanging laundry would surely lower property values in my neighborhood, where the median home cost has remained steady.

What do you think?

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I entered the kitchen after breakfast to find a new creation waiting for me.

This is none other than “Frankensoap”, the work of my ten year-old daughter’s imagination and skilled hands.

There is never a dull moment in my home. The kids have the most fun when I don’t know what they are doing.

The story behind this soap is as follows…for the first time in my life, I had to refill the liquid soap containers with bright orange gooey liquid soap.

This is because the store was out of the kind I usually buy the clear-bluish marine-ish smelling one that we all like.

Little did I know the choas this would cause.

The first picture above shows the kind of liquid soap that comes out foamy when dispensed. It is this way because it is more diluted than the  kind in the second picture. The problem is that when you dilute the orange soap (to use it in the “foamy” containers) it turns an interesting color.

At least that’s what the kids say. Some of my kids are at that age where anything remotely yellow “looks like pee”. I would say they are “urine-phobic”, as the presence of urine (actually, anything that could possibly BE urine, even a puddle of water on the floor) causes them to flee screaming and yelling “Ewww! Yuck!!!” in every direction of the house as fast as possible.

The first time I refilled the one in the bathroom, the kids filed in one by one to ask me, “Mom what is that disgusting stuff on the counter in the soap dispenser?!”, or “Mom”, (in almost a whisper),  is that what I think it is?”

“Uh, guys…It’s SOAP.”

Nevertheless, I could see their point, and agreed with them. SO, we came up with a solution – food coloring!

One drop of blue food coloring made the foamy yellow liquid a splendid turquoise color! Perfect. Problem solved!

However, I’m afraid the creator of this version of turquoise got the recipe wrong. And overdid the blue.

Therefore, we now have the above version of  “Frankensoap” sitting by my kitchen sink. The good news is the overdose of blue doesn’t stain skin!

I gotta give them credit for trying to help…right?

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See a very cool satellite image of the Inuaguration of President Obama by clicking here.

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